Everybody has experience with these random encounters with people you know but who are not really part of your life. Out of nowhere, they ask superficial questions about things that go deep into your life or that would require a long explanation, and in the end, you just have to sum up all this complexity in a few words. And often, that is still the best summary you could give…
That is what happened to me recently, when somebody asked me what I learned from these months abroad and from this experience in general. I gave an answer that was actually the best description I could give in terms of synthesis and quality, but now I would like to answer that question with more precision.
What I have learned is somehow too generic, so I would prefer first of all to talk about what I learned about the country that hosted me. It was clear to me from the very first moment that I would not have any big surprises from the new culture. Maybe it is because of the similar system, or maybe because both my country and Germany are in the EU and share many cultural affinities. Or maybe it is because, despite the general idea that we are very different from each other across countries and groups, in our globalised world there is not really such a big distance between people. Everyone has a somewhat similar way of living, pursuing the same desires and following the same models…
A single thing is almost never the sole cause of something, so perhaps it is because of all these factors that I did not really find any big differences between the two. With this perspective, I noticed over the months the very small peculiarities that characterised my culture and the culture I was living in, realizing that most of them are just constructed ideas rooted in the image of national culture, rather than something intrinsic. Above all, I appreciated the new environment, the people around me, and how I was welcomed into my organisation. Everyone really tried to do their best for the school and the kids, and to involve me in this process, even though the position was new and I had to adjust my tasks according to changing needs. Eventually, I learned what it is like to work in a school, what it is like to live and work in Germany, and how the quality of life, or at least the work-life balance, is structured.
What have I learned about the experience itself?
I have taken seriously for the first time in my life the expression “time flies”. These months have gone by so fast, even though I also feel like I have done a great deal. The aim of this project is to enable young people to live and experience life abroad by helping the local community, and this was certainly accomplished in my case. Still, there is the feeling of having lived only a part of the experience. The more you get involved in the project, the more you realise that the fixed end date will not allow you to remain part of that community afterwards. So, time has passed and I accept the change. In a way, I am pursuing change in my life right now, and maybe that is the direction society is moving in, but that is another topic. Still, there is this semi-conscious feeling of not having done everything I wanted to, of running out of time for it all.
What have I learned about people?
The more I grow, the clearer it becomes how important close people are in your life. The value of your family, friends, and loved ones becomes evident when they are not around and you cannot truly prepare for it, though everyone has their own strategies to deal with it, and I had mine too. The thing I understood clearly for the first time in my life was that everybody has a story and a life that others cannot even imagine, and people usually overestimate how beautiful the lives of others are. I discovered this working with kids who were sometimes kind to me beyond any expectation, and who I later found out were going through, or had gone through, difficulties that even an adult would struggle to face. Based on these months, I would also suggest having more faith in others, as I noticed on many occasions how everyone in the school tried to create a comfort zone for me and make me feel part of the group, without any personal gain. When you have that kind of luck, you are truly willing to give your best.
What have I learned about myself?
There are certainly things I have learned about myself, but there are even more things I had to unlearn. In the first category, I would definitely include how flexible I am in adapting to new things. Human beings are at the top of the biological world because we have the greatest adaptability among all creatures, so anyone can adapt quickly to new things because it is in our nature. However, this experience gave me the chance to notice how good I am at it, and that is why I am really grateful to have taken part in it. As for the second category, putting myself in new situations made me understand that before deciding what you like and what you do not, it is sometimes better to try first. Furthermore, I learned more about my identity and its relationship with my country. I would not say like Cioran that my language is my fatherland, but I certainly found myself relying on a bond with my language. I could take refuge in my language more than in my culture whenever I wanted or needed a comfort zone. Still, being abroad helped me understand my homeland better, following the principle that distance allows you to judge things more clearly.
So that would be a more developed answer to that question, and yet a lot of things would still be missing. For instance, all the people I met, all the experiences I made, all the places I visited, the new skills I acquired and the forgotten ones (use it or lose it), and my German level. As for my German, for example, I do not know if I made progress or if it got worse; I guess I was just comparing myself with Italians learning German back in Italy before, and with native speakers now.
I guess learning is not always a conscious process and there would still be much more to say, but for the moment it is time to stop and start taking care of what comes next…
Giuseppe has done his voluntary service at Oberschule im Park ; his project was co-financed under the European Solidarity Corps program.
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